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LETTER 32（第1页）

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LETTER32

CHARLESLAMBTOS.T.COLERIDGE

January28th，1798.

Youhavewritmemanykindletters，andIhaveanswerednoneoftheIdontdeserveyourattentions.Anunnaturalindifferencehasbeencreepingonmesincemylastmisfortunes，orIshouldhaveseizedthefirstopeningofacorrespondencewithyou.ToyouIowemuchunderGod.InmybriefacquaintancewithyouinLondon，yourconversationswonmetothebettercause，andrescuedmefromthepollutingspiritoftheworld.Imighthavebeenaworthlesscharacterwithoutyou;asitis，Idopossessacertainimprovableportionofdevotionalfeelings，thowhenIviewmyselfinthelightofdivinetruth，andnotaccordingtothemonmeasuresofhumanjudgment，Iamaltogethercorruptandsinful.Thisisnocant.Iamverysincere.

Theselastafflictions，Coleridge，havefailedtosoftenandbendmywill.Theyfoundmeunprepared.Myformercalamitiesproducedinmeaspiritofhumilityandaspiritofprayer.Ithoughttheyhadsufficientlydisciplinedme;buttheeventoughttohumbleme.IfGodsjudgmentsnowfailtotakeawayfrommetheheartofstone，whatmoregrievoustrialsoughtInottoexpect?Ihavebeenveryquerulous，impatientundertherod—fulloflittlejealousiesandheartburnings.—IhadwellnighquarrelledwithCharlesLloyd;andfornootherreason，Ibelieve，thanthatthegoodcreaturedidallhecouldtomakemehappy.Thetruthis，Ithoughthetriedtoforcemymindfromitsnaturalandproperbent;hecontinuallywishedmetobefromhome;hewasdrawingmefromtheconsiderationofmypoordearMaryssituation，ratherthanassistingmetogainaproperviewofitwithreligiousconsolations.Iwantedtobelefttothetendencyofmyownmindinasolitarystatewhich，intimespast，Iknewhadledtoquietnessandapatientbearingoftheyoke.HewashurtthatIwasnotmoreconstantlywithhim;buthewaslivingwithWhite，amantowhomIhadneverbeenaccustomedtoimpartmydearestfeelings，thofromlonghabitsoffriendliness，andmanyasocialandgoodquality，Ilovedhimverymuch.Imetpanytheresometimes—indiscriminatepany.Anysocietyalmost，whenIaminaffliction，issorelypainfultome.Iseemtobreathemorefreely，tothinkmorecollectedly，tofeelmoreproperlyandcalmly，whenalone.Allthesethingsthegoodcreaturedidwiththekindestintentionsintheworld，buttheyproducedinmenothingbutsorenessanddiscontent.Ibecame，asheplained，"jaundiced"towardshim…buthehasforgivenme—andhissmile，Ihope，willdrawallsuchhumoursfromme.Iamrecovering，Godbepraisedforit，ahealthinessofmind，somethinglikecalmness—butIwantmorereligion—Iamjealousofhumanhelpsandleaning-places.Irejoiceinyourgoodfortunes.MayGodatthelastsettleyou!—Youhavehadmanyandpainfultrials;humanlyspeakingtheyaregoingtoend;butweshouldratherpraythatdisciplinemayattendusthrothewholeofourlives…Acarelessandadissolutespirithasadvanceduponmewithlargestrides—prayGodthatmypresentafflictionsmaybesanctifiedtome!Maryisrecovering，butIseenoopeningyetofasituationforher;yourinvitationwenttomyveryheart，butyouhaveapowerofexcitinginterest，ofleadingallheartscaptive，tooforcibletoadmitofMarysbeingwithyou.

Iconsiderherasperpetuallyonthebrinkofmadness.Ithinkyouwouldalmostmakeherdancewithinaninchoftheprecipice:shemustbewithdullerfanciesandcoolerintellects.Iknowayoungmanofthisdescription，whohassuitedherthesetwentyyears，andmaylivetodosostill，ifweareonedayrestoredtoeachother.Inanswertoyoursuggestionsofoccupationforme，ImustsaythatIdonotthinkmycapacityaltogethersuitedfordisquisitionsofthatkind….Ihavereadlittle，Ihaveaveryweakmemory，andretainlittleofwhatIread;amunusedtopositioninwhichanymethodisingisrequired;butIthankyousincerelyforthehint，andshallreceiveitasfarasIamable:thatis，endeavourtoengagemymindinsomeconstantandinnocentpursuit.Iknowmycapacitiesbetterthanyoudo.

Acceptmykindestlove，andbelievemeyours，asever.

C.L.

[ThefirstletterthathasbeenpreservedsinceSeptemberofthepreviousyear.InthemeantimeLambhadbeguntoworkonRosamundGray，probablyuponanimpulsegainedfromthevisittoStowey，andwasalsoarrangingtojoinLloyd，whowaslivinginLondonwithWhite，inthevolumeofpoemstobecalledBlankVerse.Southey，writingmanyyearslatertoEdwardMoxon，saidofLloydandWhite:"Notwomencouldbeimaginedmoreunlikeeachother;Lloydhadnodrolleryinhisnature;Whiteseemedtohavenothingelse.YouwilleasilyunderstandhowLambcouldsympathisewithboth."

ThenewcalamitytowhichLambrefersinthisletterwasprobablyarelapseinMaryLambscondition.WhenhelastmentionedhershewassofarbetterastobeabletobemovedintolodgingsatHackney:allthatgoodwasnowundone.ColeridgeseemstohavesuggestedthatsheshouldvisitStowey.

ItwasaboutthistimethatLambwrotethepoem"TheOldFamiliarFaces，"whichI"ebelowinitsoriginalform，afterwardschangedbytheomissionofthefirstfourlines:—

THEOLDFAMILIARFACES

Wherearetheygone，theoldfamiliarfaces?

Ihadamother，butshedied，andleftme，

Diedprematurelyinadayofhorrors—

All，allaregone，theoldfamiliarfaces.

Ihavehadplaymates，Ihavehadpanions，

Inmydaysofchildhood，inmyjoyfulschool-days—

All，allaregone，theoldfamiliarfaces.

Ihavebeenlaughing，Ihavebeencarousing，

Drinkinglate，sittinglate，withmybosomcronies—

All，allaregone，theoldfamiliarfaces.

Ilovedaloveonce，fairestamongwomen.

Closedareherdoorsonme，Imustnotseeher—

All，allaregone，theoldfamiliarfaces.

Ihaveafriend，akinderfriendhasnoman.

Likeaningrate，Ileftmyfriendabruptly;

Lefthim，tomuseontheoldfamiliarfaces.

Ghost-like，Ipacedroundthehauntsofmychildhood.

EarthseemdadesertIwasboundtotraverse，

Seekingtofindtheoldfamiliarfaces.

Friendofmybosom，thoumorethanabrother!

Whywertnotthouborninmyfathersdwelling?

Somightwetalkoftheoldfamiliarfaces.

Forsometheyhavedied，andsometheyhaveleftme，Andsomearetakenfromme;allaredeparted;All，allaregone，theoldfamiliarfaces.

January，1798.

ItisconjecturedbyMr.J.A.Rutter，andthereismuchreasontobelieveitarighttheory，especiallywhentakenintoconnectionwiththepresentletter，thatLloydwasthefriendofthefifthstanzaandColeridgethefriendoftheseventh.Theitalicisedhalflinemightreferto"Anna，"but，sincesheismentionedinthefourthstanza，itmoreprobably，Ithink，referstoMaryLamb，who，aswehaveseen，hadbeensoillastonecessitateremovalfromHackneyintomorespecialconfinementagain.

TheletterwasaddressedtoColeridgeattheReverendA.Rowes，Shrewsbury.ColeridgehadbeenofferedtheUnitarianpulpitatShrewsburyandwasonthepointofacceptingwhenhereceivednewsoftheannuityof￡150whichJosiahandThomasWedgwoodhadsettleduponhi

BetweenthisletterandthenextcertainlycameotherletterstoColeridge，nowlost，oneofwhichisreferredtobyColeridgeinthelettertoLamb"edbelow.]

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